Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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