The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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