She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
