i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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