I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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