My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
