i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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