My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's blow job season.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
