Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
COCAINE IS GR8
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize