i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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