I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize