Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
