Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
