im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
