Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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