Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
