he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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