i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize