we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
