last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
