i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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