do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
