Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
