I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Four minutes until I can fart!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
