whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
