just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
