I want to stick my p in your. b.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
