How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
