I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
