i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
