that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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