I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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