I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
