I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
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