I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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