Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
