Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize