I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Pooping to opera.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
