i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
