dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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