he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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