I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
