He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
