finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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