i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
