Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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