Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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