That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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