he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
