I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
