The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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