WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize