i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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