it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
