i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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