I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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