i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
