Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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