Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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